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When I couldn't write my vows. I knew when I couldn't come up with anything, it wasn't right. I was 22 and he was in his 30s. I got married anyway. Before our one year anniversary I developed severe panic attacks and an extreme mood disorder. I did some really shitty things and then just left. The thing is, he was a wonderful dude. Literally one of the best people I've ever met. He was an incredibly good influence on my life. But I didn't love him. I didn't even try to stick it out. I felt guilty about it for years, dealt with depression and suicidal ideation. I lost my entire support network of friends and family (rightfully so). I basically just ran away. After hard work, therapy, and developing good habits, I got better. Found the love of my life and have been with him for 7 years now. I don't regret my decision to leave, but I regret my decision to get married. I was a dumb selfish person but I've made it past the worst parts of myself.

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